Editorial: K. Sparks Journal – The Auto Tune Coon..

Sun, 19th October, 2008

ksparks

It’s Saturday night…I’m listening to some beats and I got some inspiration after surfing the net hearing the 15th artist in a row using that God damn auto tune (lawd jesus save us from that evil auto tune )…but before I get into that let me explain the definition of a “coon” to some of the ignorant readers that may be “coons” themselves (cuz ignorance is bliss right?)…a “coon” in simple terms is a word used in the past/present as an insulting name for a black person similar to the word nigger. An example of this use would be best displayed in the following scenario..

Black man: “What’s up homie?”
White man: “Can’t you coons talk proper English?”
Black man: (pulls gun out) Bang Bang Bang

That scenerio best displays how black people react to the word. But I have come to the realization that this auto tune shit has gotten way outta control like Halle Berry’s drivin ability. I mean God damn, I have yet to see anything make negros look this bad since the WB (remember the frog?). T Pain does it justice, but people have to realize that is HIS trademark. Everybody has a trademark and that is what makes them special right? Jordan’s trademark was when he would float in the air and stick his tounge out before makin another player a victim on his next poster, Kriss Kross’ trademark was their pants backwards, and George Bush’ trademark is being a dumb ass (stab stab twist twist). My point is simple, everything ain’t for aybody (intentional ebonix).

Everybody wants to use this auto tune shit, and instead of being innovative they sound like clowns. When auto Tune first came out the shit was like the new chick that just moved on your block with the clear skin and sexy body so every time you see her everything moves in slow motion like Neo dodging bullets n shit. Aybody (intentional ebonix) was checkin her out, but after being around for a year everybody on the block done fucked her, sucked her tits, poked her in the ass, and now she got 10 kids, outta shape rockin a bad weave talkin bout “when I first moved hur I was the shit gurl”. She’s no longer new no longer sumthin fresh no longer sumthin that peaks your interest. Why? It’s simply because it is no longer a commodity, it is no longer sumthin of value, what gives sumthin value is accessability. If everyone can access it, it isn’t of value.

If everyone could cop diamonds on the 99 cent menu at Wendy’s would they still be so expensive? Would they still be rare? Hell to the nizaw bitches, and this is exactly what the Auto Tune Coon has done. Taken T Pain’s trademark and ran with it like niggas stealin shit out yo crib.

Ahem…I digress to my point, artist be original. I’m tired of hearin all you lame ass niggas goin in whatever direction the wind blows. I remember a few years back when everybody wanted a beat with an Indian sample in it, then niggas started wanting beats with the sped up chipmunk sample, God damn what’s the next trend? Niggas fuckin animals on they album covers? Niggas rockin tickle me elmo slippers? Get it together niggas…ahem…my throat has been cleared.

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